23 Dec 2015


As it's the day before the big ol' hullabaloo that is Christmas I thought I'd give you a nice list of the things you can't do without on Christmas Day. So here it goes, I'm sure you'll agree, the happiest day, your Christmas Shall be...

You wake up real quick and what shall appear?
The hangover from hell and you're stinking of beer.
That's right you went out with your mates from back home,
your wallet's now empty n' you can't find your phone.

*Bing Bing* What's that buzzing from inside your bed?
Thank fuck it's your phone with a message that read,
"Merry Christmas to all, and a happy new year,"
300 old contacts all wishing me cheer.

You throw on some trackies; all shredded and worn,
flopping onto the sofa you give out a yawn.
You look to your right, yell in startled surprise,
for your parents have a camera right in front of your eyes.

You open your presents whilst feigning surprise
for you ordered them last week along with the Tesco mince pies. 
Your mother pulls her face at the presents you gave her,
this one day a year you'll endure this behaviour.

Now it's time to get dressed so you're looking all smart.
So family think you're successful, you're looking the part.
Questions like "So what are you up to" don't phase you one bit,
Until your brother brings up your Facebook, the dumb little shit. 

You think oh just fuck it, I may as well have a drink
for family occasions bring me to the brink.
The food is now ready, we've waited all year
who knew one old turkey could bring us such cheer. 

Sooo that happened. It's just a jokey thing to lighten the stress of christmas and remind you how "joyful" christmas can be... Yeah. Merry Christmas!!

Lauren Eliza x

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